Money is one of the top three reasons for divorce.  The other two reasons are communication and sex, according to Michael Webb in his eBook, “1000 questions for couples.”

Money is a difficult topic, no matter how happy you are as a couple.  Therefore, take Michael Webb’s advice and ask the tough questions early on.  You probably want to know if your love has filed bankruptcy, or even robbed a bank before you tie the knot.

I can hear you laughing thinking that is “weird”. If you think that’s weird, Michael cites another case where a man, after several years of marriage, found out that his wife had been to prison!

So on the remote chance your partner has been involved in a bank robbery or filed for bankruptcy and, you decide to carry on with the relationship, then at least you know upfront that if you confront issues that lead to possible financial problems, (not to mention an issue with sound judgment), then you will be comfortable that you made the decision to maintain the relationship knowing about your partners past. Right? Mmmm . . .

You can see how important it is to ask all sorts of direct, indirect and even brutally honest questions in order to make a decision to live with that person or not.

So back to our case.

If you don’t like to spend, and she does, or vice versa, you need to address this topic before you commit to a long term relationship.  Otherwise, you will find yourself at credit counseling, marriage counseling, or worse yet, both.   

Our best friends for example, have been together for over 20 years and they still don’t have a joint checking account.  I find this extremely hard to believe, but my wife sees it as totally rational.  Her friend explains it in very simple terms, she says “My money is my money and his money is my money.”

This couple is genuinely happy.  The question is, though, would you be happy with a similar arrangement? Only you will know if you honestly ask yourself, and your mate, the tough questions about money.

Finally, one more tip. One of the questions Michael Webb suggests is: “ What is the minimum amount you think you could spend on a wedding and be happy with it”? Before you spend lots of money on your wedding, talk about it and ask how much you want to spend. 

There’s nothing worse than going into a new life together already deep in debt and then realizing that you don’t agree on financial matters. If you can’t agree on this one, you may need that credit counseling sooner than you think!